Today, fearlessness occurred when I went outside and it was extremely windy and 40 degrees and I had a "stomach pit" memory (or PTSD?) reaction to the weather. By "stomach pit", I mean not a picture in my head or words in my brain -- just the cold hard fist of fear in the belly.
It was an old, old feeling of fear and uneasiness. I didn't like it. I wanted to run back in the house and hide. My breath was shallow and fast, and I could feel panic in my throat. I just thought Get in the car. Get in the car. I got in the car and I said breathe breathe breathe.
And...I breathed. In and out. In and out. I went to the store and I came home. I had to bring in the garbage can - all the way at the end of the driveway. I asked Kathi to watch me so I could get it.
Was I fearless? Hell yes! I breathed. I got in the car. I went to the store. I came home. I got the garbage can. I asked for help. When I had some residual panic, I colored. Coloring soothes the soul and helps me get back to me and focus.
So fear -- ZERO
Diana -- ONE
And I am sure proud of you..ya done good! despite the grip on your tummy!
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